I wish daddy could've been here to see it... kinda knew it would turn out this way though. I know he's so proud of her!
And... pictures!
After that last blog, I can't go without following up on the situation with my mom. Things are ok. I was really "in the moment" when I wrote that blog and like I said it was a breaking point. It had been building up for a while. I just would like a comfortable and welcoming place to call home while I don't have my husband. It's like a "kick me when I'm down" sort of thing. I don't want to come off whiny or like I have the hardest life ever (because I know I am lucky in many ways) but I just feel like I don't deserve it. Lord knows, I would never in a million years treat Alexa like that. I will be there for her and supportive in any way possible. I brought her into this world, so why make life harder on her when it isn't necessary? Being a mother really puts things into perspective that way.
Reading over that blog sort of makes me feel like I'm a teenager all over again with the whole "I'm pissed at my mom!" thing. I hope I didn't sound like a bitchy little girl. Part of the reason I laid it all on the blog was because I really don't have anyone to vent to anymore. I am lucky to get a couple of text messages a day from my husband who I can talk to about anything and everything. And I don't want to be a Debbie Downer to my friends so I don't like to bring up all my negative crap. No one likes a Debbie Downer (wah-wahhhh).
Next time I need to write a Downer blog, I will be sure to warn beforehand to call the WAAAAmbulance, or to please have some cheese ready to go with my whine.
Anyhow, I'm coping for the time being. I'm looking into moving in with Elias's dad some time after Alexa's party. He has said he would be happy to have us. It all depends on whether I find a job up here or not, because he's on the other side of town. We shall see.. but I think it certainly goes without saying that I just want this deployment to fly by so we can be back in our OWN house as a family again!!! I will appreciate it 100% more; that's for darn sure.
Reading over that blog sort of makes me feel like I'm a teenager all over again with the whole "I'm pissed at my mom!" thing. I hope I didn't sound like a bitchy little girl. Part of the reason I laid it all on the blog was because I really don't have anyone to vent to anymore. I am lucky to get a couple of text messages a day from my husband who I can talk to about anything and everything. And I don't want to be a Debbie Downer to my friends so I don't like to bring up all my negative crap. No one likes a Debbie Downer (wah-wahhhh).
Next time I need to write a Downer blog, I will be sure to warn beforehand to call the WAAAAmbulance, or to please have some cheese ready to go with my whine.
Anyhow, I'm coping for the time being. I'm looking into moving in with Elias's dad some time after Alexa's party. He has said he would be happy to have us. It all depends on whether I find a job up here or not, because he's on the other side of town. We shall see.. but I think it certainly goes without saying that I just want this deployment to fly by so we can be back in our OWN house as a family again!!! I will appreciate it 100% more; that's for darn sure.
