Baby Number Two?

Noooo, I am not pregnant. I've just been thinking about planning for our next child. I've always known that I want to have at least two kids so that they could grow up together and be forever friends, etcetera, etcetera. I've also said that I want Alexa to have at least two birthdays before we start trying for another baby.

I've had major baby fever off and on for a while. Whenever I look at pictures of Alexa when she was a newborn, or look at pictures of myself while I was pregnant, I get that little desire inside for the feeling of being pregnant again. Hell, even when I get little gas bubbles in my tummy it reminds me just for a moment of feeling Alexa move inside me, and I just want to go back and feel it again for real. I miss being pregnant.. a lot. I love Alexa to death as an "outside baby" of course. But sometimes I have those moments where I miss the excitement. Being pregnant is such an incredible experience.

So when hubby gets back, Alexa will be going on two. I told him we can start trying right away, and he agreed. Now I've just been thinking about how things will be with Alexa and a baby. I love her so much. I just can't imagine having room in my heart for another child. I know I'm being silly because people have twins and more than one kid all the time. Maybe some other moms (or dads) out there understand the feeling of having SO much love for your first born and wondering how on earth you could possibly bring another child into the world and love them just as much. I have no doubts that I would love a new baby just as much; it's just hard to even fathom. For some odd reason, I feel sort of like I would be taking something away from Alexa by her having to "share" me. I definitely want another baby eventually, and I really do know deep inside that I will love Alexa and any future children all the same. I know I need to get over my worries. I'm obviously not ready to get pregnant again yet and with Elias being gone, it's impossible anyway. Hopefully this time apart will be time for me to think about being ready for another little one.

On a different note, I am still trying to get Alexa to walk on camera! She is just a nut and she loves to crawl. So she'd just rather plop down on the floor than get anywhere by walking. I guess I can't blame her.. crawling is the faster way to get around. She's still learning and I know she will want to when she's ready. But I still try! I did get her dancing on camera, so I will try to upload that soon.

In other Alexa news, she has been waving for a while (on cue) but now she waves whenever she hears someone say "Hi" or "Bye" or "Goodnight." I love it. She's a little smarty pants. She's also learned to clap. She clapped all through the isles of Target yesterday and claps when she hears applause on TV (lots of clapping tonight during So You Think You Can Dance). I love how grown up she is becoming! Every time she does something new I just have to pick her up and squeeze her and kiss her. Poor girl is in for a long life of squeezing and kissing ahead of her. :)