Alexa is doing so many cute things.. some new, some she's been doing for a while. I have her on video doing them now!
Waving, kissing, clapping, and more...
Steps!
Dancing!
She is such a nut. Hope you enjoyed the videos. :)
I don't have much to talk about today. I've just been trying to get things together for the party. I can't believe it's in two weeks!!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Things I miss about California
Oh, Southern California. I miss it so much! I was eager to move because I thought I'd be happier around friends and family. In a sense I am, but here in the sweltering heat and humidity, I can't help but wish I was back in beautiful SoCal.
1. The beaches. So gorgeous, and so close. Laguna beach was close to our last apartment and it was a great place to hang out... tons of shops and restaurants right along the beach. Nothing here compares to Laguna.
2. Our non-infested apartment. Here in my current "home" I am trying to singlehandedly tackle fleas, ants, and the occasional roach. (Mom's on vacay.) Thank goodness they are not in my bedroom but I would like to hang out in the living room once in a while.. You know, barefoot, without having to spray flea killer or vacuum every single time. I am not Orkin woman. It's not fun for me. Our last apartment in Aliso was on the third floor, which I hated because hubby was gone most of the time and I had to lug Alexa and whatever I had with me up all those stairs. It sucked at the time but I would gladly trade it back for this icky bug situation. I never saw one critter in that place. Texas in the summer is the worst as far as pests are concerned.
3. The freakin' weather. Nuff said.
4. Not having to worry about driving through a bad neighborhood. Were there even any bad neighborhoods in our part of Orange County? Not that I ever encountered. Now, I'm going to be a worrier wherever I go, but I can't be here and not watch my back 24/7. I hate that feeling.
5. Living on base. We lived on base for about ten months. It was expensive (they take all your housing allowance) and we had a roommate (which I do not miss) but there were all sorts of things I liked about living there. I felt secure living on a military base and it felt very community-like. I had at lease one thing in common with everybody else there-- being part of a military family. Our living room and bedroom both had an awesome beach view, and the beach was right down the street. The commissary was also pretty convenient.
6. The mountains. I'm not one of those people who's really into scenery, but the part of Orange County we lived in has some great views. I can really appreciate it now that I'm in the flattest place ever. Yet the roads in Cali were smooth, and here they are all effed up. Makes no sense!
7. Location. Right between San Diego and LA. There's Disneyland, Knott's Berry Farm, Universal Studios, Sea World, Six Flags, San Diego Zoo, and plenty of other cool places all within about an hour drive.
8. El Pollo Loco. Sad, but I miss my BRC burritos and cheese quesadillas from the dollar menu. :(
1. The beaches. So gorgeous, and so close. Laguna beach was close to our last apartment and it was a great place to hang out... tons of shops and restaurants right along the beach. Nothing here compares to Laguna.
2. Our non-infested apartment. Here in my current "home" I am trying to singlehandedly tackle fleas, ants, and the occasional roach. (Mom's on vacay.) Thank goodness they are not in my bedroom but I would like to hang out in the living room once in a while.. You know, barefoot, without having to spray flea killer or vacuum every single time. I am not Orkin woman. It's not fun for me. Our last apartment in Aliso was on the third floor, which I hated because hubby was gone most of the time and I had to lug Alexa and whatever I had with me up all those stairs. It sucked at the time but I would gladly trade it back for this icky bug situation. I never saw one critter in that place. Texas in the summer is the worst as far as pests are concerned.
3. The freakin' weather. Nuff said.
4. Not having to worry about driving through a bad neighborhood. Were there even any bad neighborhoods in our part of Orange County? Not that I ever encountered. Now, I'm going to be a worrier wherever I go, but I can't be here and not watch my back 24/7. I hate that feeling.
5. Living on base. We lived on base for about ten months. It was expensive (they take all your housing allowance) and we had a roommate (which I do not miss) but there were all sorts of things I liked about living there. I felt secure living on a military base and it felt very community-like. I had at lease one thing in common with everybody else there-- being part of a military family. Our living room and bedroom both had an awesome beach view, and the beach was right down the street. The commissary was also pretty convenient.
6. The mountains. I'm not one of those people who's really into scenery, but the part of Orange County we lived in has some great views. I can really appreciate it now that I'm in the flattest place ever. Yet the roads in Cali were smooth, and here they are all effed up. Makes no sense!
7. Location. Right between San Diego and LA. There's Disneyland, Knott's Berry Farm, Universal Studios, Sea World, Six Flags, San Diego Zoo, and plenty of other cool places all within about an hour drive.
8. El Pollo Loco. Sad, but I miss my BRC burritos and cheese quesadillas from the dollar menu. :(
Friday, June 11, 2010
Unexpected surprise!!!!
HOLY CRAP. Elias is coming to town! I couldn't be happier right now!!! I want to pee my pants and run around screaming at the top of my lungs, LOL. That is true happiness.
Well if you've read my previous posts, you know that we *knew* that the hubs was not going to be able to visit before he deployed. This whole military way of life is such a roller coaster. When he left back in April, we didn't know how it would play out. They usually let everybody go on leave right before a deployment so they can visit their family and everything. So I was waiting on word about that.. I wanted to plan Alexa's birthday party on whatever date he would be here. He called when he got all his dates-- when he would get back to NC from training and when he would leave for Afghanistan. There was just so little time that he would have between returning from training and leaving again that he said it wouldn't be possible to visit. Boo. I was disappointed. I didn't have my hopes up but I was still sad knowing the last hug I gave him would be the last for quite some time.
I at least knew that I could go ahead with the party planning and the date didn't matter. The date changed plenty of times. I canceled and re-made reservations. The final date turned out to be July 3rd, for no particular reason other than it was the only Saturday that I could book the location.. so I went with it. Well the other day Elias said he would be getting back from training and then they get a 96 (four-day holiday weekend) for the 4th of July. I got sad knowing he would be off on the weekend of Alexa's party but he wouldn't be able to come. I figured he'd have work obligations (he always does) and we couldn't afford air fare anyway.
Early today I got a text message from Elias saying "Check on flights for July 2nd-5th." So I did, knowing that they would be too much for us to afford right now. BUT, there was one that was actually not bad. Then my hopes just soared and I thought how awesome it would be to see him again and for him to see Alexa again.
Well remember how I said I wasn't going to take any help from my mom anymore? I lied. I remembered how a while back she said she'd help out if Elias was able to have time off to visit, so I called her and told her the situation. She said to put it on her credit card and I can pay her back. I really didn't want to take anything from her again because she has a history of hanging it over my head forever, but this is the one exception. If her help means that I will get to see my hubby before he leaves for 7 months then I will gladly take it.
So the flight is booked! He will be here! YAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
Today is the best day ever.
Well if you've read my previous posts, you know that we *knew* that the hubs was not going to be able to visit before he deployed. This whole military way of life is such a roller coaster. When he left back in April, we didn't know how it would play out. They usually let everybody go on leave right before a deployment so they can visit their family and everything. So I was waiting on word about that.. I wanted to plan Alexa's birthday party on whatever date he would be here. He called when he got all his dates-- when he would get back to NC from training and when he would leave for Afghanistan. There was just so little time that he would have between returning from training and leaving again that he said it wouldn't be possible to visit. Boo. I was disappointed. I didn't have my hopes up but I was still sad knowing the last hug I gave him would be the last for quite some time.
I at least knew that I could go ahead with the party planning and the date didn't matter. The date changed plenty of times. I canceled and re-made reservations. The final date turned out to be July 3rd, for no particular reason other than it was the only Saturday that I could book the location.. so I went with it. Well the other day Elias said he would be getting back from training and then they get a 96 (four-day holiday weekend) for the 4th of July. I got sad knowing he would be off on the weekend of Alexa's party but he wouldn't be able to come. I figured he'd have work obligations (he always does) and we couldn't afford air fare anyway.
Early today I got a text message from Elias saying "Check on flights for July 2nd-5th." So I did, knowing that they would be too much for us to afford right now. BUT, there was one that was actually not bad. Then my hopes just soared and I thought how awesome it would be to see him again and for him to see Alexa again.
Well remember how I said I wasn't going to take any help from my mom anymore? I lied. I remembered how a while back she said she'd help out if Elias was able to have time off to visit, so I called her and told her the situation. She said to put it on her credit card and I can pay her back. I really didn't want to take anything from her again because she has a history of hanging it over my head forever, but this is the one exception. If her help means that I will get to see my hubby before he leaves for 7 months then I will gladly take it.
So the flight is booked! He will be here! YAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
Today is the best day ever.
Baby Number Two?
Noooo, I am not pregnant. I've just been thinking about planning for our next child. I've always known that I want to have at least two kids so that they could grow up together and be forever friends, etcetera, etcetera. I've also said that I want Alexa to have at least two birthdays before we start trying for another baby.
I've had major baby fever off and on for a while. Whenever I look at pictures of Alexa when she was a newborn, or look at pictures of myself while I was pregnant, I get that little desire inside for the feeling of being pregnant again. Hell, even when I get little gas bubbles in my tummy it reminds me just for a moment of feeling Alexa move inside me, and I just want to go back and feel it again for real. I miss being pregnant.. a lot. I love Alexa to death as an "outside baby" of course. But sometimes I have those moments where I miss the excitement. Being pregnant is such an incredible experience.
So when hubby gets back, Alexa will be going on two. I told him we can start trying right away, and he agreed. Now I've just been thinking about how things will be with Alexa and a baby. I love her so much. I just can't imagine having room in my heart for another child. I know I'm being silly because people have twins and more than one kid all the time. Maybe some other moms (or dads) out there understand the feeling of having SO much love for your first born and wondering how on earth you could possibly bring another child into the world and love them just as much. I have no doubts that I would love a new baby just as much; it's just hard to even fathom. For some odd reason, I feel sort of like I would be taking something away from Alexa by her having to "share" me. I definitely want another baby eventually, and I really do know deep inside that I will love Alexa and any future children all the same. I know I need to get over my worries. I'm obviously not ready to get pregnant again yet and with Elias being gone, it's impossible anyway. Hopefully this time apart will be time for me to think about being ready for another little one.
On a different note, I am still trying to get Alexa to walk on camera! She is just a nut and she loves to crawl. So she'd just rather plop down on the floor than get anywhere by walking. I guess I can't blame her.. crawling is the faster way to get around. She's still learning and I know she will want to when she's ready. But I still try! I did get her dancing on camera, so I will try to upload that soon.
In other Alexa news, she has been waving for a while (on cue) but now she waves whenever she hears someone say "Hi" or "Bye" or "Goodnight." I love it. She's a little smarty pants. She's also learned to clap. She clapped all through the isles of Target yesterday and claps when she hears applause on TV (lots of clapping tonight during So You Think You Can Dance). I love how grown up she is becoming! Every time she does something new I just have to pick her up and squeeze her and kiss her. Poor girl is in for a long life of squeezing and kissing ahead of her. :)
I've had major baby fever off and on for a while. Whenever I look at pictures of Alexa when she was a newborn, or look at pictures of myself while I was pregnant, I get that little desire inside for the feeling of being pregnant again. Hell, even when I get little gas bubbles in my tummy it reminds me just for a moment of feeling Alexa move inside me, and I just want to go back and feel it again for real. I miss being pregnant.. a lot. I love Alexa to death as an "outside baby" of course. But sometimes I have those moments where I miss the excitement. Being pregnant is such an incredible experience.
So when hubby gets back, Alexa will be going on two. I told him we can start trying right away, and he agreed. Now I've just been thinking about how things will be with Alexa and a baby. I love her so much. I just can't imagine having room in my heart for another child. I know I'm being silly because people have twins and more than one kid all the time. Maybe some other moms (or dads) out there understand the feeling of having SO much love for your first born and wondering how on earth you could possibly bring another child into the world and love them just as much. I have no doubts that I would love a new baby just as much; it's just hard to even fathom. For some odd reason, I feel sort of like I would be taking something away from Alexa by her having to "share" me. I definitely want another baby eventually, and I really do know deep inside that I will love Alexa and any future children all the same. I know I need to get over my worries. I'm obviously not ready to get pregnant again yet and with Elias being gone, it's impossible anyway. Hopefully this time apart will be time for me to think about being ready for another little one.
On a different note, I am still trying to get Alexa to walk on camera! She is just a nut and she loves to crawl. So she'd just rather plop down on the floor than get anywhere by walking. I guess I can't blame her.. crawling is the faster way to get around. She's still learning and I know she will want to when she's ready. But I still try! I did get her dancing on camera, so I will try to upload that soon.
In other Alexa news, she has been waving for a while (on cue) but now she waves whenever she hears someone say "Hi" or "Bye" or "Goodnight." I love it. She's a little smarty pants. She's also learned to clap. She clapped all through the isles of Target yesterday and claps when she hears applause on TV (lots of clapping tonight during So You Think You Can Dance). I love how grown up she is becoming! Every time she does something new I just have to pick her up and squeeze her and kiss her. Poor girl is in for a long life of squeezing and kissing ahead of her. :)
Monday, June 7, 2010
First year slideshow/montage
So I've decided to share Alexa's slide show. It's been a couple of weeks since I mentioned it, and I am pretty sure it's done and ready. I thought I was done before but I changed it up a bit--added things, deleted things, stretched things, cut things... I know it's still 3 weeks or so until her birthday but I couldn't wait to do this slideshow! I've only made a couple before but it's fun and the end product is the best part. Enjoy :)
A larger, better quality version is here: LINK
A larger, better quality version is here: LINK
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Alexa took steps!!!
Yesterday the little boobear took two baby steps. It took some major encouragement on my part, though. She just wanted to plop on the floor and crawl. But either way, SHE DID IT! Yay! :)
I wish daddy could've been here to see it... kinda knew it would turn out this way though. I know he's so proud of her!
And... pictures!
I wish daddy could've been here to see it... kinda knew it would turn out this way though. I know he's so proud of her!
And... pictures!
After that last blog, I can't go without following up on the situation with my mom. Things are ok. I was really "in the moment" when I wrote that blog and like I said it was a breaking point. It had been building up for a while. I just would like a comfortable and welcoming place to call home while I don't have my husband. It's like a "kick me when I'm down" sort of thing. I don't want to come off whiny or like I have the hardest life ever (because I know I am lucky in many ways) but I just feel like I don't deserve it. Lord knows, I would never in a million years treat Alexa like that. I will be there for her and supportive in any way possible. I brought her into this world, so why make life harder on her when it isn't necessary? Being a mother really puts things into perspective that way.
Reading over that blog sort of makes me feel like I'm a teenager all over again with the whole "I'm pissed at my mom!" thing. I hope I didn't sound like a bitchy little girl. Part of the reason I laid it all on the blog was because I really don't have anyone to vent to anymore. I am lucky to get a couple of text messages a day from my husband who I can talk to about anything and everything. And I don't want to be a Debbie Downer to my friends so I don't like to bring up all my negative crap. No one likes a Debbie Downer (wah-wahhhh).
Next time I need to write a Downer blog, I will be sure to warn beforehand to call the WAAAAmbulance, or to please have some cheese ready to go with my whine.
Anyhow, I'm coping for the time being. I'm looking into moving in with Elias's dad some time after Alexa's party. He has said he would be happy to have us. It all depends on whether I find a job up here or not, because he's on the other side of town. We shall see.. but I think it certainly goes without saying that I just want this deployment to fly by so we can be back in our OWN house as a family again!!! I will appreciate it 100% more; that's for darn sure.
Reading over that blog sort of makes me feel like I'm a teenager all over again with the whole "I'm pissed at my mom!" thing. I hope I didn't sound like a bitchy little girl. Part of the reason I laid it all on the blog was because I really don't have anyone to vent to anymore. I am lucky to get a couple of text messages a day from my husband who I can talk to about anything and everything. And I don't want to be a Debbie Downer to my friends so I don't like to bring up all my negative crap. No one likes a Debbie Downer (wah-wahhhh).
Next time I need to write a Downer blog, I will be sure to warn beforehand to call the WAAAAmbulance, or to please have some cheese ready to go with my whine.
Anyhow, I'm coping for the time being. I'm looking into moving in with Elias's dad some time after Alexa's party. He has said he would be happy to have us. It all depends on whether I find a job up here or not, because he's on the other side of town. We shall see.. but I think it certainly goes without saying that I just want this deployment to fly by so we can be back in our OWN house as a family again!!! I will appreciate it 100% more; that's for darn sure.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
breaking point.
I should say breaking point number 1. I know there will be more when Elias finally leaves for Afghanistan and it scares me that I am already feeling this way. When I started this blog, I told myself I was not going to use it as a venting outlet. I would try my hardest, even though some days I feel like I can't take anymore. The purpose of this blog was really meant to be a place for me to talk about Alexa and all the new things she is doing and of course a place for me to talk about everyday life as a military family. But right now I really do need it as an outlet.
Background: I am staying with my mom right now. She offered me to live here while Elias was gone. However, I've been having issues with her lately. She nags about every little thing and talks to me like I'm still a child. I think she forgot I became an adult when I moved away, got married, and had a child. She just acts like me living here is such an inconvenience to her, and she complains every time Alexa makes noise. I wish I could move out, but I really can't afford a place and we don't even have our furniture here. On one hand, I know we are living here rent-free but on the other hand I still feel like I should be treated with some respect, especially at THE toughest time of my life. Everything my mom does for me (like offered to pay for Alexa's party when I said I was just going to cancel and have a small one at home), she holds it over my head. Next time she offers to do something, I will turn her down without a second thought because she will just say "Well I did this and that for you" as an excuse for me to not have feelings and let her treat me like crap. I never ask anything of her-- everything I've taken from her has been an offer. Well I learned my lesson now, needless to say. If I'd have known I would be this stressed living here, I would've NEVER agreed to it.
And if you are reading this thinking there must be something wrong with me, some other side to the story... I promise, I am the easiest person to live with. I keep to myself, stay out of the way, and I go along with whatever she wants. I am the most backbone-less person sometimes and I really need to work on that. Allowing people to walk all over you can take a toll after a while.
Before I get into what happened today, here's a small example of what goes on. Yesterday I sat Alexa in her highchair for lunch and remembered there was something I wanted to mention to my mom, so I went by the spare room where she was sitting on the computer with the door open. I started telling her whatever it was (can't remember exactly, but doesn't matter) and she shooed me. out. Like a dog. "Shoo! Get out, I'm busy!" Hand motions and all. Ok I understand if she was busy but 1) I was not rude or intrusive in the way I approached her, 2) she could have closed the door, and 3) she was just rude about it.
Today, I put Alexa down for nap and went out to the living room like I always do while she puts herself to sleep. The conversation went something like this:
Mom: Oh, guess what I found today?
Me: What?
Mom: My old camera! (It had been lost for months and she bought a replacement a long time ago.)
Me: Oh really, where was it?
She goes on to tell me how it was shoved in the back of a drawer, behind socks, etc.
Mom: I'm glad I found it because it really takes better pictures and I like it a lot better than the new one.
Me: ....You could give me the other one. (obviously half-joking, not expecting her to actually give it to me but at the same time well-aware that it will just sit and collect dust)
Mom: Well... I might still want to use it some time. It has more megapixels.
Me: You just said the old one took better pictures.. why would you want to keep using it?
Mom: Well I don't know! You can't have it. I would sell it to you but you don't have any money. You can borrow it if you want.
Me: That's ok, I'll just use mine.
Mom: (as if I said something offensive) Why do you say that??
Me: Because I have my own camera and I don't like borrowing things. (My camera is a little on the old side but I'd rather keep using it than borrow a better camera that doesn't belong to me. She's super possessive about her stuff and I'd rather not go there.)
Mom: You're so spoiled!
Me: What?? How am I spoiled?
Mom: You just want me to GIVE it to you.
Me: No I don't... I really don't care. (I really don't.)
Mom: silent.
Me: Well if I'm spoiled, you're stingy. (I know it was childish of me to say, but it's true. She is stingy and I won't get into all that. But I am far from spoiled, as she knows.)
Mom: ME? Stingy? Don't even get me started on all the things I've done for you. Hmm, you're living here rent-free...
Me: You offered to have me stay here. I could've moved to North Carolina. I SHOULD have moved there if I knew you were gonna be like this.
Mom: You couldn't afford that.
Me: Well we would've found a way. Just because I don't pay rent doesn't mean I don't deserve respect.
Mom: And I am paying for the party too..
Me: I said I was going to cancel the reservation but you said "No, no, don't cancel it. I'll pay for it.."
Mom: Well you were already looking forward to it.
Me: Yeah I know but you're holding it over my head now. I should have just cancelled it and had it at home.
Mom: Well I'm not stingy.
Me: And I'm not spoiled. Barely making ends meet does not equal spoiled.
Anyway, that's pretty much the gist of the conversation. I really just wanted to come out and say "Give me a break!! My husband is deploying and I am going through a hard time!" I'm not one to ask for sympathy but I really don't think she gets it. I also wish I could have asked her to explain to me her definition of spoiled. Because if anything, she's the spoiled one. She has money, a house, a job, a husband that is home all the time.. they get to take nice vacations... I have none of those things. UGH.. Ok enough with the self pity.
Bottom line: I am already stressed enough as it is. This living situation is just adding to the stress so it's not working out at all.
Well I'm done, and my little smiler just woke up. I wish I could be more like her and just be happy simply being alive...
Background: I am staying with my mom right now. She offered me to live here while Elias was gone. However, I've been having issues with her lately. She nags about every little thing and talks to me like I'm still a child. I think she forgot I became an adult when I moved away, got married, and had a child. She just acts like me living here is such an inconvenience to her, and she complains every time Alexa makes noise. I wish I could move out, but I really can't afford a place and we don't even have our furniture here. On one hand, I know we are living here rent-free but on the other hand I still feel like I should be treated with some respect, especially at THE toughest time of my life. Everything my mom does for me (like offered to pay for Alexa's party when I said I was just going to cancel and have a small one at home), she holds it over my head. Next time she offers to do something, I will turn her down without a second thought because she will just say "Well I did this and that for you" as an excuse for me to not have feelings and let her treat me like crap. I never ask anything of her-- everything I've taken from her has been an offer. Well I learned my lesson now, needless to say. If I'd have known I would be this stressed living here, I would've NEVER agreed to it.
And if you are reading this thinking there must be something wrong with me, some other side to the story... I promise, I am the easiest person to live with. I keep to myself, stay out of the way, and I go along with whatever she wants. I am the most backbone-less person sometimes and I really need to work on that. Allowing people to walk all over you can take a toll after a while.
Before I get into what happened today, here's a small example of what goes on. Yesterday I sat Alexa in her highchair for lunch and remembered there was something I wanted to mention to my mom, so I went by the spare room where she was sitting on the computer with the door open. I started telling her whatever it was (can't remember exactly, but doesn't matter) and she shooed me. out. Like a dog. "Shoo! Get out, I'm busy!" Hand motions and all. Ok I understand if she was busy but 1) I was not rude or intrusive in the way I approached her, 2) she could have closed the door, and 3) she was just rude about it.
Today, I put Alexa down for nap and went out to the living room like I always do while she puts herself to sleep. The conversation went something like this:
Mom: Oh, guess what I found today?
Me: What?
Mom: My old camera! (It had been lost for months and she bought a replacement a long time ago.)
Me: Oh really, where was it?
She goes on to tell me how it was shoved in the back of a drawer, behind socks, etc.
Mom: I'm glad I found it because it really takes better pictures and I like it a lot better than the new one.
Me: ....You could give me the other one. (obviously half-joking, not expecting her to actually give it to me but at the same time well-aware that it will just sit and collect dust)
Mom: Well... I might still want to use it some time. It has more megapixels.
Me: You just said the old one took better pictures.. why would you want to keep using it?
Mom: Well I don't know! You can't have it. I would sell it to you but you don't have any money. You can borrow it if you want.
Me: That's ok, I'll just use mine.
Mom: (as if I said something offensive) Why do you say that??
Me: Because I have my own camera and I don't like borrowing things. (My camera is a little on the old side but I'd rather keep using it than borrow a better camera that doesn't belong to me. She's super possessive about her stuff and I'd rather not go there.)
Mom: You're so spoiled!
Me: What?? How am I spoiled?
Mom: You just want me to GIVE it to you.
Me: No I don't... I really don't care. (I really don't.)
Mom: silent.
Me: Well if I'm spoiled, you're stingy. (I know it was childish of me to say, but it's true. She is stingy and I won't get into all that. But I am far from spoiled, as she knows.)
Mom: ME? Stingy? Don't even get me started on all the things I've done for you. Hmm, you're living here rent-free...
Me: You offered to have me stay here. I could've moved to North Carolina. I SHOULD have moved there if I knew you were gonna be like this.
Mom: You couldn't afford that.
Me: Well we would've found a way. Just because I don't pay rent doesn't mean I don't deserve respect.
Mom: And I am paying for the party too..
Me: I said I was going to cancel the reservation but you said "No, no, don't cancel it. I'll pay for it.."
Mom: Well you were already looking forward to it.
Me: Yeah I know but you're holding it over my head now. I should have just cancelled it and had it at home.
Mom: Well I'm not stingy.
Me: And I'm not spoiled. Barely making ends meet does not equal spoiled.
Anyway, that's pretty much the gist of the conversation. I really just wanted to come out and say "Give me a break!! My husband is deploying and I am going through a hard time!" I'm not one to ask for sympathy but I really don't think she gets it. I also wish I could have asked her to explain to me her definition of spoiled. Because if anything, she's the spoiled one. She has money, a house, a job, a husband that is home all the time.. they get to take nice vacations... I have none of those things. UGH.. Ok enough with the self pity.
Bottom line: I am already stressed enough as it is. This living situation is just adding to the stress so it's not working out at all.
Well I'm done, and my little smiler just woke up. I wish I could be more like her and just be happy simply being alive...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
